Questionable Roommates - Finchel AU
by MoncheleFan
Summary: Finn is desperate for a roommate. He can't afford rent on his own anymore, Rachel needs a place to stay….so she decides to room with Finn….one problem with that; They used to be date back in high school, had a really nasty break up….Rachel hates Finn, but Finn needs the rent split….she will avoid him if she can…but of course that doesn't work out
1. Chapter 1

Title: **Questionable Roommates AU Finchel**  
Category: TV Shows » Glee  
Author: MoncheleFan  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M  
Genre: Romance/Drama  
Published: 07-13-12, Updated: 08-05-12  
Chapters: 14, Words: 22,869

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

"**Questionable Roommates"**

**AU Finchel**

**So I had a request to do another prompt. And once I heard the idea…I couldn't say no, it was just too good. **

'Finn is desperate for a roommate. He can't afford rent on his own anymore, Rachel needs a place to stay….so she decides to room with Finn….one problem with that; They used to be date back in high school, had a really nasty break up….Rachel hates Finn, but Finn needs the rent split….she will avoid him if she can…but of course that doesn't work out.'

**I want to thank **ItsGlee, **for the request and AMAZING idea for a prompt. I'm so excited to tackle this one. **

**Rating: M for Mature language…and definitely smut. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters *tsk* unfortunately. This is all for fun and is all fictional. Again my stories tend to have OOC characters, so please be aware that they might not be just like their characters on the show.**

**Chapter 1**

"Fuck….my….life." Finn said loudly, as he checked his bank statements. He was running so low on funds, he had acquired $5,000 from his dad once he had passed, but his mom hadn't allowed him to have it till he moved out on his own.

Well he didn't really have a 'stable' job…or at least one that could grant him enough money. He was a bartender, and sure it had it's perks….girls, sometimes generous tips, and booze anytime he wanted. But, sometimes the money just didn't come through, and lately the cliental had been horrible, tipping very poorly.

His mom wasn't great on the money front, so he couldn't just ask her for help, and it wasn't that he was completely broke…but honestly he was almost there.

He looked down at the beer he had been drinking, it wasn't cold like he liked it…but he still sipped on it.

His rent was the one thing that was killing him mostly, it was $800…and that was not including utilities, his mom had said a bunch of nasty things when she found out how much he was paying for rent a month, but he had decided to stay on the nicer part of town.

That was his mistake, it pretty much ate all of his money within months. He sighed as he saw that he had a little over $200 in his account, and rent was due in a few weeks…what the hell was he going to do?

The knock on his door, made him jump rather quickly. He groaned loudly and walked to the door, feeling the dizziness kick into overdrive, he hadn't realized that that beer had been his 4th one in a row. Grabbing his stomach, and soothing the nausea he opened the door.

Revealing a smiling Santana. She was one of his closest friends, but she was also considered a 'fuck buddy', her words…not his. He didn't like to refer to woman in that way, but Santana always said it. She loved coming over here, having sex with him, drink his beer, talk about how she hated her life, and leave. I mean they weren't the best of friends or anything, but he considered her to be one person he could turn to if he needed help….plus he got have sex with her, it was win-win.

"Need beer." She said, waving at him, and walking past him to grab the beer he had on the table, and guzzling it down rather quickly.

He just stared at her, because honestly he wasn't ever sure if they were going to do something or not.

She looked over at him, wiping her mouth and staring at him with a grin. "Let's go…" She said grabbing his arm and leading him to the bedroom.

Sex with Santana wasn't bad, but it didn't mean anything either….so it was rather weird to have meaningless sex, but it was sex….who was he to complain if it meant something or not?

0o0

"What is wrong?" He looked over at a very sullen expression on Santana.

"Why do you assume something is wrong?"

She gave him the 'uh I fucking know you'.

He sighed "Well I am kind of starting to not be able to afford rent…and I don't want to move back in with my mom….I mean you remember what that was like. I just I love her, but I can't do that."

Santana chuckled, pulling her covers off, revealing her very naked body, and changing back into her clothes.

"Fuck Finny, maybe you should find someone to help you out with the rent or something…" She said but holding her finger up to say 'don't even ask'.

"Oh my god San…that is like THE best idea EVER!...Uh…but how do I go about doing that?" Finn didn't really know where to look for a roommate, and he couldn't well go asking everyone in town if they needed a place to stay…plus who would he trust to live with him…it wasn't like he had a lot of valuable things, but he also didn't want a crazy person living with him.

"Um how about Craigslist…or like post an ad and leave it in like one of those places that people go to cafes and stuff…they eat that shit up."

"you are the best…" he said which made her give him the finger and playfully stick her tongue out.

0o0

After Santana left, he decided she was right…he needed a plan, he needed to find someone…and pronto. He didn't really have a lot of time, and if he acted fast, maybe he could get someone before the next rent due date.

Which didn't give him a lot of time, considering he owed rent in 2 weeks. Who the hell would move in within 2 weeks?

He decided best not to think, and decided posting ads on craigslist, and a few other places that he found out were just like that site. He found one specific one that was actually for the locals here in Ohio, he thought that was perfect.

Now to wait for replies.

0o0

He had received a few emails, but nothing seemed promising, mostly sickos looking to bring their weird shit into his place.

He groaned, it seemed like the more he read, the less appealing everything was getting. Maybe this was a mistake? Maybe he should move back in with his mom…but he is a grown ass man and he shouldn't rely on his mother to continue to support him.

One email caught his attention. It had a pretty star on the subject line, and when he read it, it made him smile. This person seemed very peppy, something he could definitely use right now.

The person didn't give too much information on themselves, which he figured was normal. So he emailed back, saying he was interested to get to meet this person.

Within seconds he had a replay saying 'Great, when can I move in?'

He hadn't really thought about it, but realistically he needed someone asap.

He replied with a 'Asap!' He received a smiley face in return, and he gave them directions, as well as what to expect with rent cost and utilities. He didn't want to give too much away, just in case it ran them away…at least right away.

He hadn't really gotten a name, but he just thought 'whatever I'll get it when they come.'

0o0

The knock was soft and almost in a way sweet. He ran right over, making sure the place was tidy and clean.

What he saw made his jaw drop, and apparently had the same effect on her.

It was Rachel Berry, his ex girlfriend who he had dated for over 2 ½ years back in high school. 'Oh Shit' his mind raced.

"Uh…hi….Rachel." He knew everything probably sounded so stupid, but he wasn't even sure what the hell he was supposed to say.

Rachel was so surprised, out of all the places and all the people, she had to run into his ad, and had to like everything he offered. Why didn't she realize that there was definitely something not right. Their breakup had devastated her, and she hated Finn….he was an arrogant ass, and she had fallen for that sweet stupid sideway smile once, all she wanted to do was turn around and leave….but she desperately needed a place to stay, and everywhere she had tried was horrible…or too expensive.

She was in school right now, and a part time waitress at the local café, which was another reason she liked this place, it was close to both things. She couldn't afford anything higher than what he was asking for. So she sighed and looked up at him.

He led her in, and couldn't help but where his eyes landed, she was still dressing with short little skirts and her adorable sweaters, he couldn't help but check her out. Her ass was definitely something he missed.

She turned and saw where he was looking.

"Before I decide if this is what I want to do…" Even though technically she had already decided given the fact that she needed a place to stay. "We need to set up some rules….and none of that." She said giving him the 'don't fucking look at me'.

He put his hands up in defense and nodded. "Fine…." He walked over and sat down on his couch, and propped his feet up on the table. "What are they?"

She just stared at him, she had two bags so she decided to place them down on his floor. "Umm….well first off, I don't want no smart ass remarks about anything...also, I still don't like you after what you did, so don't think we are friends. If I am going to be living here there is no crazy parties, or bringing random people here. I study, so I would want some common courtesy when it comes to me studying and you being loud."

He just smirked at her demands.

"Why are you smirking…?"

He just shrugged "Because you are still that girl who rambles….it's fine, look I get it. We are ex's and I know it's weird….but I really need a roommate, and from the looks of it, you really need a place….so lets just call it 'cool', and deal with it…"

She furrowed her brow and inhaled. "Okay…." She said it very quietly but he understood.

"Follow me…I'll show you to your room."

He showed her everything from her room…which wasn't very big, and of course Rachel made a comment about it, but she said that it would suffice, and then he showed her the rest of the place, even his room.

"Well I'll leave you to it…." He said smiling and walking into the kitchen.

This was definitely going to be really weird…at least he hoped that even if she disliked him, that she would understand he was different now…it had been 3 years since they had last seen each other.

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Rachel didn't really have too much room in this little bedroom, but it was better than most everything she had seen, and she didn't want to be complaining about lack of space…especially to him. She was still in shock that she was going to be living with her ex.

She received a knock softly on her door. She opened it half-way and stared at Finn's eager expression.

"Um yes?" She asked a bit annoyed he was just staring at her.

"I'm ordering Chinese, do you want something?" He knew that even though yes, they had ended badly…and she had said she hated him, he was still going to be polite and invite her to dinner.

She hadn't really been thinking about food, but realized she hadn't really eaten since lunch, and it was already past 8 pm.

"Um sure, just anything with no meat…or onions." She said not really looking at him in the face.

He pursed his lips and nodded. "Okie doke…." He said before leaving her just standing staring where he was just standing.

Worst part of this whole thing….she still found him as sexy as she did when she first saw him. She closed her eyes and shook her head, she definitely didn't need to think that…but it was a little hard considering she was going to be living with him. This was just temporary though….at least she hoped, until she could find a better paying job, and save enough money to find a place, Finn-free.

He knocked on her door, 20 minutes later to say that their food was here.

They ate in silence, but luckily it wasn't uncomfortable…nothing Rachel hated more than uncomfortable silences.

"So um…how have you been?" Finn piped up, wanting to say at least something.

She looked up at him, as he stuffed himself with more chicken.

She made a face, when she noticed the little stain on his upper lip, wanting to laugh, she decided to look down at her food instead.

"I've been good…I mean as good as it gets I guess. How about you? Breaking more hearts?"

He chuckled "Uh still not over that are you?" He knew it was a shitty thing to say, but she was being a little standoffish…which okay, technically it was his fault she was…but still.

She raised an eyebrow. "Still an arrogant asshole I see…"

Finn scoffed "Look…I'm sorry….that was pretty shitty on my part….but do you have to be so….aggressive?"

She just stared like she couldn't believe he was asking her this. But decided to ignore that question "Can I ask you a question?"

He stared at her, he watched as she thumbed her fork, back and forth on her rice. "Yeah…go for it."

"What was the real reason you broke up with me?" She stared at him, to see a very shocked expression. He seemed taken back by this, which he was. I mean he had never really truly explained why he broke up with her, he just told her that it was because they were so different and it would never end up working….but Rachel knew better, but at the time she was too heartbroken to ask.

"Uh the real reason?"

She rolled her eyes "Don't play stupid Finn….I know it wasn't because of what you told me…."

He shrugged "Isn't this a weird topic to be talking about…especially on your first night here?"

She shrugged as well "No…I think it's a good idea, to get everything out of the way, and have closure. Don't you think I deserve that?"

He nodded "Well yeah, but…okay, you want to know the real reason?" She nodded swiftly "I honestly just didn't think we were it….you know soul mates…." He didn't even want to look at her, because he knew that was a really crappy thing to say, and honestly he wasn't really telling the truth, but he didn't want to tell her the real reason.

She just stared as he looked down at his beer, almost like fixated on it.

She nodded "Oh I see…." She wasn't sure why those words cut her like glass, she was completely over Finn…but it still hurt that after 2 ½ years, which pretty much was wasted….it just was a bad thought.

He cleared his throat, he wanted to change the subject, it wasn't awkward, but he could sense that he hurt her feelings.

"Um, I'll start cleaning up…" He said grabbing some of the boxes out of the way.

"yeah…Um I should go and finish unpacking…also have a lot of homework left to do…." She said before grabbing some of the stuff to help him, and then going into her room.

She closed her eyes as she sat down on her bed, god this was definitely going to be harder than she thought. She wasn't sure if having dinner with him was the best idea, maybe keeping distance was a good idea for now….she could hideout in her little room forever, right?

**TBC…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Finn had woken up to see that Rachel had already set out coffee, it was weird given last nights events. Maybe she was over what he told her, he only hoped. God he hated being an ass to her, and he had hated hurting her like he did. He never got to tell her everything he wanted to, but he couldn't think like that anymore, they weren't together anymore, and they were definitely not friends….at least she didn't want to be.

"Morning…" he said looking over at Rachel, sitting on the table book in hand, and coffee in the other.

"Oh morning…" She said quickly giving him a look, and turning her attention back to her book.

He didn't really have to work till later that evening, so he was kind of 'work-free' for the rest of the day. He poured himself a cup, and looked over once more at Rachel. He couldn't help but stare at what she was wearing.

She had on her robe, but it barely covered her legs, and did nothing to hide the little shorts she had on underneath….he gulped as he caught himself imagining what the color of her underwear was.

He had seen her naked a few times, they had decided to be intimate a little over a year into their relationship, and god was the sex amazing.

He looked over to see Rachel shift in her seat, and exposing her thigh a little bit more, he closed his eyes, feeling the bulge in his pants get a bit tighter.

Damn, he had never thought how hard this was going to be on him….I mean he didn't even think about what type of stuff she was going to be wearing around the apartment…maybe he should set some rules for proper attire….but then he would have to admit that it did things to him that he didn't really care to admit.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Rachel said cutting his thoughts short, making him glance her way, and Rachel could see his flushed cheeks. What was he thinking about? She shrugged it off as she just continued staring at him.

He chuckled nervously and walked over to where she sat. "So what are you doing for the rest of your day?"

She looked down at her books, and pointed towards it. "I have to study…I have a big test coming up in a week…so…this." She said shrugging.

He nodded "Oh…are you still studying broadway?" He asked a bit curious as to know, because last he knew that was her big dream.

She bit her lip and looked over at him, he had a weird expression on his face, but she couldn't pinpoint what was so weird about it. "It's musical theater….but yes I still want to be in Broadway…" She corrected him.

He nodded "Oh….that's great you are still following what you wanted to do. I remember how big that dream was."

She looked over at him, "Is…." Again correcting him.

The doorbell rang, "I'll get it…" Rachel said standing up, which revealed her exposed belly, she was wearing apparently a tank top, but it did not cover much of her belly….and his eyes just darted right there….It was definitely hard not to stare. She still had that amazing body she had back in high school, only now it was more womanly. Damn….he saw her eyes look down at him, and caught him staring.

She just walked over to the door, and opened it to reveal a really pretty raven haired girl. Her attitude definitely didn't match her outside.

"Um and you are?" the rude girl asked.

Rachel just wanted to scoff and shut the door on her, but apparently Finn had heard and ran over to see Santana standing there looking Rachel up and down.

"San! What are you doing here?" He wanted to curse himself, why the fuck did he forget to call her and tell her about his new arrangements…he knew how Santana got, and yes he wasn't dating her…but he still felt like he owed her that common courtesy.

She just raised an eyebrow. Rachel kept staring at the interaction. Was this Finn's new girlfriend? Rachel didn't know why but she felt a little annoyed at this girl, and no…okay she wasn't jealous….but it was the simple fact that this girl was so completely rude, and Finn didn't seem the type to date these types of girls. But maybe throughout the years they didn't talk, maybe he had changed.

"Do I need a reason to come over here? I thought I'd stop by and see if maybe you wanted to go for coffee, I kind of have some things on my mind….unless you are busy…" She said looking over at Rachel.

"San…this is my new roommate….Rachel Berry. Rach, this is my friend Santana Lopez." He didn't know why he had the need to say both of their last names, it just sort of came out.

Both girls stared at each other and Rachel finally smiled, even though it was the last thing she felt. "Hi…nice to meet you." She said.

Santana kind of warmed a little and just gave her a half-smile. "This is your new roommate? Hmm." Santana said a little worried, I mean she didn't care who he fucked because they weren't together, and she didn't care for Finn like that…but it was still weird for him to have such a pretty girl and not do anything. "So um, you want to go…"

He looked over at Rachel, almost like asking for permission, which he knew was stupid, but Rachel thankfully saw the meaning behind it, and gave him a shrug and saw the way Santana kept looking at her.

Then she watched as they exited together, and hearing Santana start to bitch about god knows what.

That morning Rachel had decided she didn't want to avoid Finn completely, I mean she was going to be living with him, might as well be a little nice to him….but every time she did, it seemed to be getting worse….and she knew it was going to be even harder with this Santana character in the picture…again she wasn't jealous, but it was just weird….oh god, she hadn't even thought about the fact that when they each brought dates home, was that going to be weird? No, right? So why was it bothering her so much? She saw the way he was staring at her stomach, was it her imagination? She sighed, deciding to go into her room, and play music.

**TBC….**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Wait…you are telling me that you and this Rachel chick used to date? Wow that's some fucked up shit Finny…have you thought about the consequences to all of this? And what could happen if something were to start up with you two again? Or the fact that what happens if I come over to you know…and she were to get upset? Huh? Did you think about any of this?"

She saw the way he just stared at her, a bit shocked, not really knowing what to say. "Yeah I thought you didn't…" She said rolling her eyes at him.

He had never really thought about any of that. "She needed a place to stay, and she needed it fast, and I kind of needed someone asap….so what is wrong with that? I mean, yes the fact that she is my ex girlfriend…that is a bit weird, but who cares….we have rules. Or at least she set them, so maybe it'll be good…and nothing will ever happen with us again….even though she is still insanely sexy…."

He gulped when he realized he said that out loud, and saw that Santana had a funny grin on her face.

"Wow that's your type, dude?" She said laughing a little bit. "She dresses like a baby prostitute…."

"Don't make fun of her San….she's a great girl. You don't know her, and just because she dresses a bit odd….well that doesn't take away from how great she is…." He wanted to dig himself a hole right now, Santana was giving him the funniest looks, and he just kept admitting stuff to her, that honestly he didn't really want anyone knowing. Especially since Santana had a big fucking mouth.

"Are you in love with her or something?" Santana chuckled "Fine…I won't make fun of her, but you can't really give me any shit if the two of us don't get along….I don't hang around girls like that…." Santana said while taking a sip of her coffee.

He sighed, he didn't really care for Santana and Rachel to be friends, because honestly…which he found really weird, but he didn't want Rachel knowing that he and Santana just used each other mostly for sex….anyone besides him and Santana would see that relationship as a fucking mess….but he didn't really know why he wanted to hide it from Rachel. I mean, they weren't dating anymore, and she definitely wouldn't care what he did on his spare time…or who he did it with, but still.

0o0

Rachel's head started pounding, the whole 'reading till you drop' thing was very true. She couldn't even look at another book without her head hurting 20 times more.

She pushed the books out of her way, and decided to change and work out. That always de-stressed her.

She ran for over 35 minutes without stopping, making her almost throw up at the very end. She didn't know why but she felt like she put all of her annoyance into running. She usually did that, but today she was extra annoyed.

That Santana girl really got under her skin…and again it had nothing to do with jealousy…but part of her just didn't really like her.

She came inside to find Finn in the kitchen, he seemed to be alone…which she was thankful for. He looked up to see Rachel. She could see his eyes wander what she was wearing. For some reason it made her blush, god he didn't have that effect anymore on her….did he?

Finn saw the way she was dressed and his eyes poured everywhere…he was a guy, and she was dressed so hot right now, with her tight black sweat pants, and her small shirt that again barely covered any of her stomach. Her hair was pushed into a messy bun and he gulped as he saw the sweat drip down from her neck and landed on her breasts. It was so hard to look away, but he knew she saw him staring so he tried so hard to focus on the sandwich he had in hand.

"Hey…" He said muffled through his sandwich.

She just nodded over at him. "I was wondering where you went…I was going to ask if you wanted some food or something…" He said looking over at her.

She shook her head "Thank you anyway…I can make my own food though." She hated at how mean that sounded, but it was true, she didn't want him thinking she needed him for anything other than needing a place to stay.

He nodded though in agreement and took back to looking at his sandwich.

She walked over, and saw that he was almost in a way blocking the entrance to get into the refrigerator. "Um, I kind of need to get in there…" She said, making him stand up straight.

God was he always this tall? She just stared up at him, and saw again his eyes wander. It was weird how different he looked, but at the same time he looked the exact same.

He stepped aside, giving her very little room to get in there, which almost made her physically push him hard until he was completely out of her way, but she definitely knew better.

She opened the fridge, and grabbed herself a bottle. Moving a little, but her feet weren't really listening to her, and she fell back against Finn.

He saw what happened and caught her "You okay?"

She saw the way his hands gently grabbed her, and the way he just stared at her.

She cocked her head to the side, and smiled at him. "I'm fine…" She said giving him not even a half-smile, and walking into the living room to sit down and catch her breath…and not from the run…but from whatever the hell just happened in there.

Finn didn't get the hint that she kind of didn't want him around her, and came over, sitting almost right next to her.

"Um….can I ask you something?" She looked over at him, as she continued to take small sips of her water. This was odd, Finn wanting to ask 'her' something.

"Uh yeah I guess…." She said because honestly she had no idea what the question was going to be….and if she didn't like the question…how was she supposed to answer?

He nodded "Um when I went out with Santana….she made a good point, what um…what happens…" He was really nervous and Rachel could see that. "Are there like rules for dating?" he decided it was best to just come out and say it.

She just stared at him, was he really asking this? Why did he think it mattered who they were dating?...But wasn't this the exact same thing she was wondering about as well?

She wasn't even sure how to answer, but he was staring at her, so she better come up with one.

"Um…well do you think there should be rules?"

He didn't think she would turn it back on him, but he decided to be honest with her. "Yes…."

She looked at him, he seemed to be a bit embarrassed that he admitted that to her. "Okay…such as?"

He finally looked up at her "Um, like how if we do bring someone back here…maybe we should put something on the door to let the other know that we have someone…I don't think it'd be fun walking in on any one of us while making out or something else…"

She nodded "Okay, like maybe a sock?" She said understanding exactly what he was getting at.

He nodded in unison "Um, also, I don't want if like lets say we are hanging out….I don't want you ditching me, or me ditching you for a date…."

She squinted her eyes, what made him think they were going to be hanging out…but she didn't want to be rude so she just nodded.

"And, I think the most important one…let's not be loud…." If he wasn't embarrassed before, he sure was now, his cheeks were all red, and he seemed to be concentrating hard on something on the wall.

Did he really just say that? She wanted to laugh a little.

"Um you mean as in moaning?" She couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm being serious Rach…I really don't want to hear that…coming from your room…." God he was just really digging himself a big ass hole today.

She saw the seriousness that came from his tone. Did he really not want to hear that stuff? But if she thought about it….she didn't really want to hear it from his room either.

"Okay….I agree to your terms…" She said nodding.

He spit into his hand and held it out for her, which in turn received a disgusted look from Rachel and she shook her head. "That's disgusting…" which made him laugh and in turn got her to laugh as well.

This was the first time they had been in a room and not been entirely awkward, and actually were back to laughing. Hopefully it would last.

**TBC….**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Rachel threw her books on the table, she had decided that following day to work solely on studying….she hadn't really gotten much in since she moved in here, so she thought it was the perfect day to catch up on that. Plus, Finn wasn't home, he had to work so it was even more perfect.

But every time she opened her books she would close them. It was weird, but that whole conversation about the whole sock and dating thing….well it kind of hadn't left her mind since Finn brought it up.

Did he plan on having a lot of girls over…or worse….Santana? She didn't really want that image in her mind, but why did it bother her so much to think of Finn in that way? She groaned when she kept replaying the convo over in her mind.

Her phone began to ring, which she was thankful for given what she was just thinking about.

"hello?"

"Rach…"

"Daddy?" She answered, it was weird to hear her daddy calling her, mostly because the last time she had spoken to him, they had gotten in a fight over her coming back to live with them…and her pretty much saying she wouldn't do that. But she could sense something was wrong, by the tone in his voice.

He explained that her grandma was in the hospital, and to not worry, that everything would be okay…and that he would call when he heard more news. She was really close with her grandma…the thought of her sick or anything made her really upset…and a little mad.

"How you holding up kiddo?" Her daddy responded. She sighed and explained her living situation…but left the part out with her living with Finn. Her dads knew that the breakup had been a tough one, so she didn't really want to make it a big deal.

"I'm okay…." She could feel the tears pushing through. She said her goodbyes and told him he loved her, and that she would visit them when she could…and to keep her updated on her grandma.

As soon as she hung up the phone, the tears pushed through. She hated when she was weak and gave into her emotions.

0o0

Finn exhaled as he opened the door to his place, he was so exhausted…all he wanted to do was just sleep. The crowd tonight at the bar was even more packed than usual, mostly drunk college students.

He opened the door to find Rachel curled up on the couch, she almost looked like a little child, she had her blankets almost up to her face, she made no effort to even look his way. He saw that she was watching a movie.

He stared at the tv, and noticed she was watching 'Funny Girl', it was Rachel's all time favorite movie…he didn't really know why he remembered it, but he did….he smiled even though he knew she really wasn't paying no attention to him.

"Can I join you?" he asked, wanting to just put his feet up and sit down.

He saw her tiny shoulders move in a shrug, and he sighed. Walking over and sitting right next to her, her feet were curled up to her chest, he wanted to laugh at how small she looked.

"Funny girl huh? I still remember almost every line…"

Rachel again made no efforts to look his way, but did a sort of almost pout with her lips.

It looked like something was bothering her. "Um….Rach….is something wrong?"

He could see her eyes were glassy, and saw the tear that fell from one of them.

She didn't really have the energy to explain what had happened, and honestly telling her ex-boyfriend these personal things…well wasn't that a bit weird? It was weird enough that she was staying with him, but to share feelings…that was a bit over the top.

She bit her bottom lip, but it seemed like her emotions caught the best of her. "I just feel lonely…." She admitted, although that was half the truth.

He just stared at her, wanting to just pull her into his arms and hold her, she looked so fragile.

"Why?" He knew it was a stupid question, but if it got her talking…why not? He didn't want her thinking she couldn't talk with him, just because they were ex's.

"I just lost that connection I had with my dads….I don't know…." She said sniffling and shrugging. "I hate myself sometimes because I let it get this bad….and I just hate feeling like I let them down." She said now fully crying.

Finn just stared in horror, he hated when girls cried, it made him overly depressed, they always seemed so sad.

He did the only thing he could think of. He scooted closer, pulling her into him, she hesitated at first, but after she felt his big arms wrap around her, and her face nudged into his chest….well she kind of just let again her emotions get the best of her. Giving in, and without thinking, placing her legs on top of his thighs.

She didn't know how long they had been in that embrace for, but she just cried into his chest. While he gently soothed her back, running small circles over and over.

That was one thing she definitely gave Finn credit for, he was always so good at being the sweetest guy when he wanted to be, he always took care of others.

0o0

Finn wasn't really sure when he was supposed to speak or even how long they stayed this way, but he finally spoke up.

"How about I put you to bed?" He asked, but when he got no response he realized that Rachel had fallen asleep. Her tiny little hands cupped together in between her chest, and he didn't even see that she had his shirt tangled in her fingers, almost like for support.

So when he lifted her up with one swift motion, making sure to not wake her and doing it as gently as he could. He saw the crumpled portion of his shirt, making him smile.

She was so tiny in his arms, he couldn't help stare at the tiny form in his hands. But even with how tiny and not heavy she was, when he stood up straight and tried to move….well his legs were completely asleep. Making him almost fall under his weight.

He cursed himself when he realized that her bedroom was the farthest one down the hall. But the light bulb went off almost immediately. His bedroom was the first one, so he would place her in there.

He finally reached his bedroom, with every ounce of his legs almost giving up with every step he took.

Placing her gently down, she made the cutest little crinkle of her nose, and he raised his covers up to her, and he wasn't even sure what compelled him to, but he placed a gentle and sweet kiss on the top of her forehead.

When he exited, he realized that he didn't really have a bed to sleep in…he sure as hell wasn't going to sleep in Rachel's….I mean he could, but he just didn't feel like that was okay, even under the circumstances. So he decided the couch was just fine.

0o0

The next morning, Rachel woke up, she hadn't really recognized her surroundings making her want to scream for help, but her mouth was really dry from lack of water, so she decided against it.

She saw that the room was a bit dark, and it had Led Zepplin posters lining the walls. It was definitely a boys room, she looked down at her body, and saw that her clothes were still on….did she have sex? No…she would know right? She gulped at the thought, but she didn't drink last night….everything was so foggy.

She climbed out of bed, and exited the room, to find that she was in her apartment, so….that meant that she was in….Finn's room. Oh god, did they? No…no, right?

She walked over to the kitchen, and found Finn drinking coffee. He looked up to see her blotchy eyes from crying, and how tired she looked.

"hey…morning. Coffee is set out for you, and I thought you might like a bagel…you um, you feeling any better?"

She just stared at him, why was he being so overly friendly?

"Uh…did we…did we um, have…" She cleared her throat, trying to find the right words…but she decided maybe being blunt was better "Did we sleep together?"

He choked on the piece of bagel he had in his mouth, making him cough a little raggedly. "No….no, we definitely didn't do that….um you don't remember?"

She just continued to stare at him. "Very little…my headache isn't really helping my memory."

He nodded, he was a little upset, because Rachel seemed a bit standoffish again…back to the way she used to be, and he thought that maybe he got through to her last night…and she could consider him as a friend.

"Is there something specific I should remember?"

He shook his head "No…don't worry about it…" He didn't know why it upset him so much, maybe he just really wanted to be back in her life….or was there more to it?

She saw the way he looked down as he said it, and the way he thumbed his fingers back and forth, was he upset? She could see the disappoint definitely in his eyes.

0o0

"How do I look?" She asked her best friend Tina.

Tina smiled "Hon you look so freaking hot! So um who is this mystery man that you met at your job?"

After Rachel had that weird encounter with Finn, he had avoided her …which was weird considering she was the one usually avoiding him, but it was weird…she actually missed his presence, but Rachel had decided to go out a bit more….she had met a guy down at her job, he had gave her his phone number in a napkin, and they had talked a few times on the phone. He had finally asked her out on the third phone call, and she said yes.

She had invited Tina over, because not only was she her friend, but she was also very critical on what to wear on first dates.

She had decided to wear a short black mini skirt, with her favorite red pumps, and thigh highs.

"This doesn't say 'I want to date but also see where it goes'? does it?"

Tina chuckled at her Rachel's joke and nodded "Um just a tad…."

"So um….how is everything with you know who?"

Rachel just looked over at her, and then examined her outfit in the mirror, she had hoped that Tina would avoid that question, but knew that sooner or later it would pop up.

Rachel bit her lip "Um…well….it's uh, it's okay. But uh.." She made sure to say this a little quieter because she wasn't sure if Finn was home or not. "Well I woke up in his bed the other day…and I don't remember all the details of the night previous…and well, he kind of is avoiding me…like I hurt his feelings that I didn't remember or something."

Tina squinted "hmm, sounds like maybe he is sad you two aren't best buddies or something….You two used to be just adorable…"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You do remember how he broke up with me right?"

Tina scoffed "Rach…that was like 10 million years ago, you have to get over that…."

Rachel just groaned "Fine…anyway, I have better fish to fry with Mr. Matt…"

Tina laughed and exited Rachel's room with her.

Finn was in the living room with two of his friends. Rachel hadn't expected him to be home, but she didn't really know his schedule anymore.

All 3 men did a double take when they saw her. The one with the mohawk said "Damn!"

She could see Finn blushing and trying his hardest to look away.

"Oh um where you going?" Finn didn't really know why he needed to know, but damn she looked so fucking sexy.

Rachel just stared at him. "She has a date…." Tina piped up before Rachel could do or say anything else.

Rachel saw the way Finn's face completely changed and distorted into a sad grimace. Was she imagining things…or did he seem jealous? And honestly she felt bad about it….I mean he still dumped her and everything hadn't changed…but she still didn't want to shove going on a date in his face.

"Oh….do you always dress like that when you go on dates?" Finn said a bit of annoyance seeping through his tone, which caused a few chuckles and snorts from his Mohawk friend and his Asian friend.

Rachel raised an eyebrow, and looked down at her outfit. "You don't like it?" She didn't know why she was asking for his opinion.

The Mohawk guy scoffed again "No he is fucking with you girl, you look really hot…don't listen to Finn…."

Which in turn made Finn roll his eyes. "Shut up man…and no yeah you look great Rach…but uh, don't you think it's a bit slutty?"

The whole room went silent.

Rachel just stared at him and was thankful when the knock came on the door. Tina raised her hands to say 'what the hell' to Finn.

Finn looked over at Puck and Mike, which they did nothing but give him the 'fucking idiot' expression.

Rachel answered the door and revealed Matt smiling back down at her. He brought flowers, and his amazing smile with him.

He saw Rachel's outfit. "Wow…you look….amazing." He said handing her the flowers.

"Thank you…" She said, looking back and giving Finn the 'ha' look.

"Oh um, this is…" She looked over at Finn to help her introduce these two guys.

"Puck…" Puck said nodding a hi. "I'm Mike, nice to meet you…."

Matt smiled. "Nice to meet you guys as well, and this must be Tina?" He walked over and gave her a small shake and a smile.

"And this is?" Matt asked looking over at the only person she hadn't introduced him to.

"Oh um, that is my um…roommate….Finn."

Matt smiled "Nice to meet you man…but if you guys don't mind…I'm going to steal this gorgeous girl…" They all waved…all except Finn, which only scowled.

Rachel just stared a little confused by his attitude….she was definitely going to have to talk to him about that.

**TBC….**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Finn was sitting in the living room, beer in one hand and his feet propped up. He had said goodnight to the guys, but he still had that scowl on his face. The only thought that raced through his mind was Rachel in that little mini skirt with that jerk….Finn was sure he must be a nice guy, because lets face it, he even took the time to ask who everyone was….but he couldn't help but hate him.

He called Santana instantly and asked for her to come over, he needed to get some aggression out and the only person he could think of that would let him do that….and in the way he wanted to…well it was her.

She knocked on the door not even 20 minutes later, he was thankful that she lived so close to him. Placing his beer down, he opened the door looking her up and down and sighed, shoving the door open for her to come in.

She just stared at him as she entered. "What is wrong with you?" She said looking at his expression, he seemed to be in a pissy mood.

"Nothing…can we just get this over with?"

Santana scoffed "Look…what did I say about you treating me that way when it came to sex and stuff?" She said holding her finger up to him.

He sighed, "San…please, I have had a hard day…and with you bitching….well it's not really helping."

She pursed her lips "We aren't doing shit till you tell me what the fuck is up with this attitude problem?"

He rolled his eyes, this was one of the reasons he loved and hated Santana. Even though yes, they had sex, she still cared about what was going on with him.

"It's about Rachel okay…." He said raising his hands up in defeat.

He walked towards his room and she followed him. "What about that tiny midget?"

"San…what did I say about making fun of her?" he said in a warning tone, plus he didn't really like when people used those types of words to insult.

She rolled her eyes and waved her arms apologetically, following him to sit on the bed.

"I think I might like her again…."

Santana just stared as Finn revealed his feelings. She wasn't jealous or even upset that he did have feelings for Rachel, she kind of figured.

"So, what is the big issue?"

He looked down at his hands awkwardly. "She is out with some guy…and she doesn't want anything to do with me….maybe I just need to avoid her? I'm like fucking jealous and everything….this sucks….I don't like this feeling. This guy is going to come back here most likely, and the fact that she might do something with him…." He groaned loudly. Just the thought of that…well it really really upset him.

Santana just stared at him. "Is that why you invited me over? To fuck you so she would be just as upset as you are? Finn….that's so fucked up."

He looked at her, it was weird that Santana was being so sweet, she was usually up for doing that sort of thing…but it seemed like maybe she did want to change.

"You are lucky I dig fucked up shit…." Santana said giggling.

He just stared at her, knowing all too well that she couldn't change. He walked over and placed a sock on the door.

Before he could do or say anything else they had their clothes off, and they did their thing.

One thing he never did with her though….was kiss. It was just weird, and honestly he didn't really care to, I mean he felt like meaningless sex didn't deserve kisses.

0o0

"I'm going to go get some agua…" Santana said pulling on Finn's boxers, and walking out in her bra.

"Uh San…maybe you should change…." He said, not really knowing the time, and he wasn't even sure if Rachel was back or not…but he just didn't want Santana walking around like that and Rachel seeing her.

Santana rolled her eyes, and changed back into her clothes, "Happy?" She said giving him the finger, and chuckled as he gave it back to her.

0o0

Rachel had enjoyed her night, I mean Matt was great…but something kept her from having a really good time….Finn. The whole night she spent thinking about what had happened back in their apartment. Why did he seem jealous? All these thoughts had made her not really pay too much attention to Matt. He didn't really seem to mind, but still she didn't really want to be completely rude to him.

He had drove her home, and even tried to get to come inside, but she thought maybe it best to wait it out for another night…plus Rachel didn't just sleep around like that. She thanked him and headed inside.

It wasn't too late, but it was late enough that she assumed Finn was asleep.

She opened the door, and saw light coming from the kitchen. Maybe she should talk with him, and get some answers as to what the hell his attitude problem was about.

"Hey we need to talk…" She said loudly and placing her keys down.

"We do?" Santana said revealing herself from behind the fridge door.

Rachel just stared in horror, she wasn't expecting her to be here. And why the hell was she here? Was Finn even here?

"Oh um…sorry I thought you were Finn…um where is he?" She said a little annoyed.

Santana looked at her, and stared, she didn't really understand what Finn saw in her…but he guessed it must be something…either that or she was amazing in bed.

She pointed to the door of his bedroom, Rachel's eyes instantly went to the handle, where the sock lay. Her stomach did a flip, and she felt a little sick to her stomach. That was why Santana was here.

"Oh um….you two….you guys…." God why was she trembling with her words?

Santana shrugged "It's our usual…."

Rachel just stared again in horror, so Finn and her always had sex? Why didn't he mention it…or at least give her a heads up?

Santana noticed the way Rachel was kind of just staring into nothing. "He didn't tell you? Oh shit…Um I better go…" Santana said grabbing her purse from the table and without another word opening and closing the door.

Rachel bit her lip. She stared at the door, still shocked at the revelation.

Her phone rang, she was so thankful lately that her phone was being awesome, and ringing and interrupting her thoughts, at the exact moment she needed it to.

"Baby…it's about your grandma…."

Rachel's ears perked up, and she nodded, even though they couldn't really see her, but her daddy took that as a sign to go on.

"She isn't doing better….she can't…she can't breathe without the machine…" she could hear her daddy's sobs through the phone. Making her go numb, she had never heard her daddy cry this way. It made her literally sick to her stomach.

She was utterly speechless, what the hell was she supposed to say? I mean, one of her favorite people was pretty much a vegetable, and she was here thinking about petty things?

She told her daddy that she couldn't talk and hung up with him rather quickly.

She did the only thing she could think of…she forgot about everything that was going on, her anger towards Finn and Santana just completely vanished…even though she was still going to talk to Finn about it. She knocked on his door lightly.

"San you don't need to knock to come back in…" He said groaning at how annoying she could be.

But the person that popped inside wasn't the one he expected.

Her tiny frame in the dark made her look even smaller than she already was.

"Rach….what's going on?" He said sitting up and noticing her slumped shoulders, and as soon as he heard her sniffles he ran over to her, he was thankful that he was wearing a shirt and he put on pajama bottoms.

She shook her head, crying just like she had the other night. "I don't want to talk about it….can I sleep in here tonight? Can you just hold me?"

She knew it was a very, very, very odd thing to ask for…especially considering that they were what they were to each other…but nothing seemed better than curling up to a very giant body, and his hands were so gentle.

He just stared at her, a bit shocked that this was what she wanted. But his head immediately nodded.

"Of course…." He led her to his bed, and let her climb in first, he wasn't sure if he should get in, but she had said she wanted him to hold her. So he finally climbed in after her, and pulled the covers so both of them had it on.

He pulled her body in, and she immediately put her head on his shoulders, her face cupped into his neck, making all of the hairs on his body stand on end, as her breathing completely touched every inch of his neck.

His hands wrapped around her instantly and squeezed gently.

"Can we talk about it later?" He asked, receiving a small nod from her end, he didn't want to say anything else so instead he closed his eyes and he felt her body relax, her crying had subdued, and soon the only sound that could be heard was their relaxed breathing.

**TBC….**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Rachel yawned, as Finn moved his big arms still on top of her slightly over, making her look down at the hand that still completely lay on her stomach. Last nights events popping up into her mind, she still remembered the phone call, and she especially remembered Santana; making her sick to her stomach yet again.

Finn stirred in his sleep, causing Rachel to jolt and look over at his face.

"Mmm good morning…." He said casually…but Rachel gulped, he sounded extra sexy when his voice was groggy and raspy.

"Morning…um can you get your hand off of…" before she could finish that sentence he moved his arms rather quickly. "Thanks…" She said sitting up, brushing her hair down flat.

He followed suit and sat up, the covers falling off of his knees.

They sat in silence for a while, Rachel wanted to speak to him….about a few different things, but she wasn't even sure where to begin.

"We should talk…." Rachel said which made Finn look at her and gulp. He knew she was going to say that, especially with the way she was looking at him. But truth was, he also needed to say a few things to her too.

"Okay…do you want to go first….?"

Rachel just stared at him, he needed to talk to her too?

"Um sure…I know this is probably going to be super awkward, but I need to say it…or it'll drive me insane. I ran into Santana last night…."

Finn just looked at her, not sure where she was going this, but he had an idea….did they talk? Oh god did Santana say some stupid shit? He wanted to just leave the room and not talk about this, but he nodded for her to continue.

Rachel looked down, not even sure where to go next "Are you two like having sex on a regular basis?" It came out before she could stop herself.

Finn felt just how dry his throat was, he was ashamed because of the way Rachel was staring at him, she had finally looked up to stare at him…and that look made him want to crawl into a hole and stay put. She seemed disappointed, or upset…and that was worse than angry…at least he thought so.

"Yes…." He definitely wasn't going to lie, but her face made him want to, she really was not happy with that answer….but it was the truth.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She said her voice raising a little bit.

"Oh what and say 'Hey Rach, so um me and Santana and fucking on the side….but here is your new room'? I wasn't even sure you wanted to be my friend….so I don't know I didn't feel the need to bring it up…"

"So me finding out that way….with the sock and her here…that was better?"

He closed his eyes and groaned "You're one to talk…." He instantly regretted it when she just stared a little shocked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

When he didn't answer she knew what he was getting at.

"Are you talking about Matt? We went on one date…and I'm not fucking him…AND he's not my best bud….like you and her claim to be."

"It still counts…I don't like it…" He knew everything he was saying was sounding so childish, but he didn't do well with morning conversations, he wasn't a morning person…and he hadn't had his coffee so everything was just coming out.

She furrowed her brow "What don't you like? I don't get it….why all of a sudden is this about Matt? We are talking about you and Santana….and why does it matter to you who I date?"

He almost did a double take when she said that "Ummm than why does it matter who I am fucking?"

She raised an eyebrow "For the same reason I said before…because its not just a random girl….it's your friend…."

He shook his head "No, you can't just say that….it goes both ways…doesn't matter if it's a friend or not….I-I just I don't….know…"

She saw the way he ran his hands through his hair, he usually did that when he was antsy and a little nervous.

"Look if it bothers you so much….I won't bring Santana around here anymore…."

Rachel shook her head a little annoyed that he wasn't getting her point "It's not about that….it's about the fact that you thought you couldn't tell me this….I know we aren't together, and I know we might not be the best of friends…but I still didn't like finding out that way."

He just stared at her, she had her hands wrapped around her knees. She once again looked like a little child.

"Okay…I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, and I won't do that with her here…"

She just continued to stare at him….she wasn't sure why, but the fact that he said 'here' made her a little upset, the fact that he was possibly still going to be doing that somewhere else bothered her….god this was so damn complicated.

"So um how was your date?"

She looked up to see the way he cocked his head to the side.

She shrugged "It was okay…he was really sweet, and smart. We are going out again next week…"

Finn felt his jaw twitch, his blood seemed like I was boiling. Why the hell was he so jealous? This wasn't like him, plus Rachel was his ex….it shouldn't bother him this much….but why did it?

When he didn't speak but nodded, Rachel cleared her throat, it got a little weird and she wasn't even sure why. "Um….I'm sorry about my little melt down last night…and thank you for being so sweet."

He just nodded "Of course, I'm here for you…you know? If you ever need to talk or anything…or curl up to someone…I'm your guy."

Rachel smiled slightly and nodded "but um…can I ask what was it about?"

Rachel knew he was going to ask that, but it was still going to be really hard to answer, mostly because part of it was Santana…which she wasn't going to say that…but it was hard to bring up her grandma.

"My dad called…." Her tears started to form, and he just stared at her. "He said my grandma pretty much is only breathing because of a machine…he doesn't want to have to pull the plug…I don't know what I am going to do if she dies….she was one of the only people that I could talk to when no one was there. And then on top of that my dads and I…well we aren't on the best of terms right now…so I'm just feeling all these emotions…and I can't control them…."

He placed his huge hand on top of her small one, and squeezed softly. "I'm so sorry to hear that…I remember you and your grandma, she is really special to you….but just think of the positive…I mean maybe something will come through..you never know you know? And as far as your dads go….Rach, you and them, well you will always patch things up….you are the best family."

That was one thing she loved about Finn, he saw the good in everything even when she wasn't so sure.

"Thank you…" She said pulling him in for a small hug. She could smell a mixture of sweat, and old cologne…wildly it was really nice.

He wanted to stay like that for a while and could smell the sweet lavender from her hair, it was the most amazing thing in the world to him.

As they pulled away, he stared down at her lips, all he wanted to do was lean down and place a kiss on top of her lips, they looked so ready for him to do it, but he knew better. She definitely didn't feel that way about him….so he didn't want to embarrass himself by doing that. Plus he was sure his breath wasn't the best at this time.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, as she pulled him in and placed her lips on his. He reacted almost instantly as she did that, opening his mouth and allowing entrance for her tongue, she didn't even hesitate….she wasn't sure if it was the way he had hugged her, and thumbed his fingers back and forth, or the fact that he consoled her….all she thought of in that moment was to kiss him.

Finally breaking apart, she stared at him in shock. Now reality sinking in. what the hell did she just do? She looked at his swollen red lips, and his wide eyes, and the way his hair stood on end from her wrapping her fingers and pulling softly. She put her fingers up to her mouth and gulped.

"I should go…" She said running out of his room.

"Wow…" Finn said feeling the smile spread from his lips….so she must feel something if she just completely kissed him…and wow, man oh man…that kiss was just pure bliss. All of his problems went out that window.

**TBC…**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Rachel didn't want their relationship to be complicated, or weird…or even if they had a relationship….at least a 'defined' one. She wasn't sure what had possessed her to kiss him, and she sort of regretted it…not because it was bad…god it was definitely not bad, but because now everything just got that much more complicated.

Why did he have to make her feel like she was back in high school all over again, with just one smile or one touch. It was like she was that 16 year old girl again.

But in the back of her mind she knew that that kiss meant more to her than she was letting on. And honestly she was thankful she had Finn there to talk to.

The soft knock made her head pop up, when she didn't say anything there was a 2nd knock.

She sighed "Come in…"

Finn peered his head inside, but not fully coming all the way in, only enough to see half his neck.

Rachel sat in indian style on her bed, as she stared at the head in her doorway.

"Can I talk to you…?" Finn knew that he had to get everything off his chest, and be completely honest with her. I mean they had talked before, but that was only a few hours ago, and he felt like there was still so much left unsaid.

She shrugged and looked down shyly.

He took that as a yes, and walked over, closing the door and sitting down at the corner of the bed…wanting to give her enough room, but not sit so far that it was awkward.

"I need to say this to you….not because we kissed, or the fact that I might still have feelings for you…" Rachel's eyes went wide, but he made no moves to stop what he was saying when she stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. "But because I want to be honest with you….and I consider you my friend. I know you might not, or maybe you do…I am not sure…." He knew he was rambling, but it was the only way he could say everything without sounding completely nuts.

He saw the way Rachel bit her bottom lip, and the way she pushed the little hair that fell in her face behind her ear, and decided best to continue.

"I lied to you…." He knew that sounded really bad "When you asked me what the 'real' reason I broke up with you was….well I made that stuff up before…." Rachel just stared, she was very intrigued, and not only that but the fact that he just admitted not even a minute ago that he still possibly had feelings for her, well that made her whole body weak.

"The real reason….I'm ashamed because that meant I lost you, and I regretted it every second of every day. I knew you were amazing Rachel, from the moment I met you…that quirky, bubbly…sort of annoying, yet so adorable 16 year old….well I knew you were going to be someone, you shone so bright that it was hard to not see you as a star." He saw that her face lit up at his words

"A few months before we graduated…and before we broke up, I received 10….10 rejection letters from all the places I had applied, I wanted so badly to impress you, the amazing girlfriend that decided I was the guy she wanted to share her heart with….I cried when I realized that maybe I was just a 'Lima loser….' I didn't deserve you….and I knew that maybe if I kept you as mine…"

Rachel just stared a little shocked at the stuff he was saying.

"When we spoke a week before we broke up, you had said that I was so amazing, you even said that you would do anything in the world for me….do you remember that conversation?"

Rachel nodded slightly, how could she forget? It was one of the last conversations they had before he broke her heart.

He looked down a little ashamed, she was staring at him like she wasn't even sure where he was going with this.

"The way you looked at me, and the way you so easily wanted to be there for me….I felt like the most amazing guy even with all those rejection letters. Do you remember the question I asked you?"

She bit her lip once more, now out of nervousness and nodded. "You asked me if I would ever choose to stay in Lima with you and give up my dream…"

He nodded, now feeling a little nervous. "Yes…and your answer?"

She felt tears wanting to push through mostly because the memories hit her pretty hard right now, remembering all of this. Why was he bringing such horrible memories back?

"I'd give it all up in a heartbeat…if it meant staying with you."

He looked down at his hands, almost transfixed.

"That made me sick to my stomach, knowing that I would hold you back. That I would be the reason you would give up your dream, something you worked for your whole life, Rach…I could never ever live with myself if I knew that I was the reason you hadn't gone to where you needed to go….so I made up some bogus story…..and I know it was shitty, but I didn't deserve you….I don't deserve someone like you….my mom gave up so much for my dad, and I felt like that was exactly what I was doing to you."

He felt tears fall down his cheek. "I'm so sorry I never told you the truth….but I regretted it the minute I did it, not only because the way you cried…it completely broke me, but I missed you every single day."

She didn't even know what to say, or where to begin. Everything seemed like a dream, he had told her that they weren't soulmates, that he believed they didn't belong together, that he didn't want to be with her, and now it all was a lie.

"So you still loved me? Even though you said you didn't?"

He wiped with the back of his hand the tears that even though he tried so hard, pushed through. He nodded, he seemed so little even with how huge he was.

He looked up to stare at her, he couldn't tell what her expression was.

The stinging of the slap left his eyes watering even more than they already were. He put his hand instantly on his cheek, feeling the blood push through and feeling the warmth that emanated from it. Wow, for a tiny thing she really knew how to slap someone.

"What was that for?" He asked even though he kind of knew the answer.

"For being an ass! And lying….and for everything!" She said, everything he said was amazing….but she was kind of upset, they had broken up for something that she felt like he should have spoke to her about…but if she thought about it…he was doing something so sweet…but it still upset her.

"Why did you wait so long to tell me this?"

He sighed, still rubbing his cheek "Rach…I never thought I'd see you again, and I wasn't even sure where to begin. I mean it's not like I wanted to break up with you….you heard my story." He said almost in a childlike voice.

"So…..what now?" he asked, kind of wanting to know where they stood.

"I don't know Finn…I mean what do you think….do you think this makes everything better? Do you think it takes away my heartbreak? I don't know if we would work together…."

He stared at her a bit confused "That kiss…."

She licked her lips, god see she knew everything was going to be 10 times more complicated. "Tell me something….when you said before, that you wouldn't do that stuff with Santana here…does that mean you will still be doing it?" She said completely ignoring what he said before.

He wasn't even sure how to answer "Not if you don't want me to…." He knew that sounded so bad, I mean she wasn't even his girlfriend…yet he was willing to stop what he had with Santana and just remain friends if that was what Rachel wanted.

"Honestly?" She asked wanting to know if he was ready for what she was going to say.

He nodded.

"Then yes….I don't want you to….I just…I don't like her very much, and I don't want to think of you in that way." She made a hand gesture, which wanted to make him laugh because if you interpreted it one way it could be construed as something very dirty.

He nodded once more "Than I will stop….um….what about you and Matt?"

She stared at him, this was way different than him and Santana…why did he not understand that?

"Finn….it's different….I know you don't understand…but you are a guy."

He stared at her a little offended "Um how is it different…why do you want to go out with this guy so much? It has everything to do with me being a guy….because he only wants one thing…"

Rachel scoffed "Because all men only want sex…."

"Uhhh yeah!" he said raising his eyebrows "Rach…he is a 20-something year old boy….and not only that but he is in college, I mean come on!"

She sighed "Why does he bother you so much?" She asked staring at how exasperated he looked.

"He doesn't…I just….I don't like thinking of you with anyone else…."

She continued to stare "You're jealous?"

He wanted to roll his eyes, god why did she have to ask him that. "No! I'm not! Again, it has nothing to do with jealousy…" even though he could see the way she knew that he was lying. "It's the fact that I just…I want better for you…."

She sighed "That is all very well and sweet, but Finn….maybe you just need to get to know Matt….look I will go out with him one more time, and if it all goes bad…well then you can tell me 'I told you so'…"

He watched her as she stood up, patted his leg, and walked out of her room.

**TBC…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Rachel hadn't said much about Matt, or even brought up his name in conversation…but that was all he could think about, she had a date with him today and it killed him knowing that she was going to be seeing this guy.

He hadn't talked to Santana, but he knew that she must probably still think it was awkward after what happened and not want to be around here…which he was thankful for, but he still needed to talk to her and let her know the situation.

He was working on his 2nd beer, and probably knew it was stupid to drink in this state of mind…but it was all that was helping his mind stay sober, which was very ironic.

His ears perked up when he heard Rachel's sweet voice coming from her room. She had been in there all day.

"Rach….?" He asked softly pushing the door with his beer bottle.

Rachel looked over at Finn, she was standing in front of the mirror with the most amazing dress he had ever seen. It was this really pretty white that made her tan almost glow. Her hair was straightened out completely, making her look even longer than it was.

He just stared a little shocked at the sight before him, she was brushing out her bangs. "Yeah?"

He forgot that he was standing there looking probably like an idiot just gaping at her. "Oh um, wow you look….whoa…."

Rachel smiled politely and looked over at the mirror, examining her outfit. "You think? Not too much?"

If he was worried before, well lets just say his jealousy….it was definitely heightened. "Are you trying to physically hurt me?"

Rachel stared at him, what was he talking about?

"What? Are you talking about my dress?"

He stared at her giving her the most cynical look. "Why are you doing this? Why are you going out with him?" It sounded a little like begging, and he hated begging period…but when he did it with Rachel…well it sounded a little more pathetic.

She turned her attention back to the mirror and placed lip gloss on. "Finn….look I don't know what you want me to say…I can't fully give myself to you…I just, I know why you broke up with me, and I know that you did it for all the right reasons…but my heart is still trying to mend, I can't just fully commit…because what happens if that is what you feel again? What you will just throw me aside like I'm nothing?"

He groaned and sat down on the corner of her bed "You are impossible! Just…look will you please promise me a few things….If you are going to be stubborn and not cancel the date….will you at least do a few things for me?"

She hesitated to look at him, but turned her attention back on him. Placing her hands on her hips and looking at him to go on.

"First….can you please not kiss him, or touch him for that matter…don't even give him the sweet little 'pat-of-the-hand' that girls love to do to fuck with our minds…." Rachel furrowed her brow, wanting to laugh at how he was waving his arms around like a fucking doll "Um what am I supposed to just not let him even give me a hug?" He nodded "Yeah…"

Rachel scoffed "You are being serious?"

He nodded once more "Yes…"

She cleared her throat "So what if he asks why I'm being so distant? What should I tell him…? That my crazy ex, that still has feelings for me….doesn't want us touching or even doing anything cutesy like that…?"

He nodded almost like it was now in habit "Yup, exactly!"

"You do realize how crazy that sounds right?"

He ignored her and continued "Secondly…can you maybe not try to be so…I don't know…you."

She raised an eyebrow "What is that supposed to mean?" She said raising her voice a little, making it more dramatic.

He tried hard to think of the best way to say it, without again sounding like the pathetic ex. "Well I mean, once people get to know you…I mean you are pretty great Rach…You come off strong, and can be a bit annoying…" She raised her eyebrows once more "Uh no, not that It's bad…" he groaned "I just mean that once people see the 'real' you…well they fall in love…."

She felt her cheeks burn, wanting to turn around so he wouldn't see the blush that was so obviously showing.

"Wow…um…I don't know what to say…."

He stood up "Um don't say anything…just promise me you will at least try to do those things I just asked….I know you really don't understand…but trust me if you were in my shoes…you would completely get it."

She bit her bottom lip, she couldn't help but stare at him, the way he was just looking at her, like she was the most important person…god and the way he looked her up and down, almost like he was thinking of doing things to her in his mind…that made her feel a bit intimidated.

She did the only thing she could think of. She got on her tip toes, placing her hands on his shirt collar, and pulled him down. Kissing him so softly, almost barely grazing.

It was like the electric shock hit them immediately and the knock on the door made them both jump.

Rachel giggled nervously. "Um I should go…." She said, walking towards the door.

He followed her out to the main door, "Rach…?" He said calling to her, walking over to her. She was right near the door.

She turned to stare at him, pulling her waist and pushing her slightly so she was pushed up against the frame of the door. His lips crashed onto hers.

Everything became foggy. And this kiss wasn't like the one before, it was passionate and almost like they needed it.

He broke the kiss, mostly because the 2nd knock came shortly after, but also because he knew if he didn't stop…well there would be consequences and he couldn't be responsible for them…not with the way she kissed him back.

His forehead touched hers, and he closed his eyes, he didn't need to look at her to know she had hers closed too.

"Finn…" She said so quietly and in her sweetest voice.

"Hmm.." He said not wanting to let her go. Her hands running up and down his shoulders.

"I need to go…." He nodded, finally breaking the interaction and looking down at her. She looked so tiny, even with her 6 inch heels. He leaned down and placed one more kiss on her lips. "That one was to remember what is here…."

She rolled her eyes, and punched his arm. "Go…" She said giving him the warning glance.

He waves his arms and nodded. Going into his bedroom, listening to her open the door, hearing Matt say some cutesy shit to her about her outfit which didn't help his jealousy much…making him want to open the door and club him in the head. Then the door shut, he walked over to his bed and plopped himself on it. God that kiss….he wanted more of that.

**TBC….**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

He had counted at least 2 hours that Rachel had been gone, every single minute he waited was killing him. He hoped she followed what he had asked of her, he knew it was stupid…and probably really immature, but he couldn't help himself. The thought of another guy trying to be intimate with her, or even on a date with her…well let's just say it wasn't the most pleasant feeling.

He had decided to occupy his time with giving Santana a call…he had said that he needed to speak to her, and even though…yes they technically were 'fuck buddies', she was still his friend…and he wasn't just going to keep her out of the loop…and truth was, he kind of missed her as a friend.

"Wow, if it isn't Finn…hey stranger danger…"

He chuckled over the phone, as he heard Santana's comment. "Hey to you too…sorry I haven't called…"

Santana sighed, he could hear the annoyance even through the phone. "It's alright…but why haven't you? I know it goes both ways….so technically I could probably call you too…but I kind of thought maybe you didn't want me to or something…."

He nodded in understanding "I know…it's Rachel…."

Santana wanted to groan, why did everything have to be about her? She really honestly didn't understand his obsession with this girl.

"Okay, Rachel…what about her?"

"We've been sort of kissing….and I kind of admitted I had feelings for her…"

"You did what?" Santana spat through the phone.

He had to hold the phone out away from his ear. "Look it's not my fault okay? Everything this girl does…it's like my drug, I don't know San…I feel like she was brought to me here for a reason, and maybe I'm delusional….but I cannot help the way I feel for her. It's like high school all over again."

Santana groaned finally out loud "Now I see why you haven't called me….are you calling to break off what we have?"

He didn't say anything, which Santana realized that was all she needed to know that it was a yes. "Well I'm okay with that…because honestly I feel like we are more friends than anything….but Finn…please be careful with her….this whole situation could end up pretty badly if you let it."

Finn said his goodbye and hung up, looking at the ceiling. Was she right? Could this whole thing go down in flames? He shook his head, not if he let it.

He had drank yet another beer, so in total he had had 3…which now was making his stomach a little queasy, he usually didn't drink this much, but he really needed it right now.

The door opened softly, making his head spin around to the noise, which he instantly regretted when he saw double.

"Rach…?" He asked, knowing the only other person who had a key was her.

"Mmhmm…" She said very sweetly.

He finally regained his vision, and saw her place her stuff down by the door, and walk over to where he sat.

She sat with her knees tucked in, and he sat almost taking up the whole entire couch, with his knees spread out; making him look longer than he was.

"You drunk?" She asked almost testing him to see if he was or not.

He shook his head "Just buzzed…how was it?" he asked wanting to know exactly what had happened.

He stared at her, and saw the way she shrugged her shoulders making her look like bobble head doll.

"It was okay…but um…." She pushed her hair back, and stared back at him, he looked so tired but wide awake just staring at her. "I couldn't stop thinking about you…." God she didn't want to admit that to him, but damn…the way he was staring at her, and the way his lips moved every so often.

He felt his lips turn upwards into a smile "Really? So you ended it with him?"

She rolled her eyes at him, but scooted closer to him, pulling her legs landing on top of his thighs, which he gently placed his hands on top and rubbed her soft skin.

"If you must know….yes….Finn….the way you make me feel…I can't explain it, but I also don't want to feel the heartbreak that I had before, I don't know what's going to happen between us, and honestly I'm fine with it….just I need to know you are serious…"

He just stared at her almost gaping at her. "I've never been more serious Rach…." He was in fact so serious, his stare was almost intoxicating and the way he continued to stare at her….everything about him right now made her more attracted.

She reached, and placed her hands gently on his face, cupping his cheeks. Kissing him, feeling his tongue and slowly tasting him. The beer taste mixed with what she only assumed was peanuts….well it was a weirdly amusing taste.

They broke the kiss, and she just stared at him. "I missed you…" She said so softly.

He smiled "I missed you too babe…" He placed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose, and she pulled him in, placing her head on his shoulders and not even realizing when she fell asleep.

**TBC…**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Rachel blinked rapidly, groaning as she grabbed her head in pain and a little bit to stop the dizziness that was occurring. She didn't really recognize her surroundings at the moment, but when she saw who she was laying on top of everything became clear. She had admitted to Finn that she had pretty much strong feelings for him still, and he had done the same…..so why did she feel so bad?

Maybe it was the fact that everything was out in the open, and that made everything not only more complicated but also scarier…not to mention, were they going to label the whole relationship and name themselves 'boyfriend-girlfriend'?

Were they just dating? Everything was kind of left unsaid last night…which was fine, but she hated not knowing what was going to happen.

She sat up making him groan softly into his sleep. He looked so peaceful and honestly she didn't want to wake him up, but she needed to find out what the hell was going on with them…and it was something she couldn't really wait for….even with how cute he was almost drooling.

"Finn…wake up." She nudged him softly, which seemed to make the groaning even longer and more dragged out.

"Mommmm….2 more minutes, I swear, I will clean it up…"

Rachel chuckled, placing her hand on her mouth to cover the giggles that were coming out loudly. She placed her hand on top of his chest, and felt his heartbeat, it was so slow and it was beating perfectly in rhythm. She softly nudged him once more.

"Finn…it's Rach, can you please wake up…"

Finn hated waking up when he had the best dreams, and that sweet voice…why was it so familiar? He groaned as he finally blinked a few times to stare at Rachel's sweet chocolate eyes staring into his.

He licked his lips and looked around to see where he was. Apparently they both had fallen asleep on the couch, and it looked like Rachel needed to talk to him about something important and it seemed like serious.

He yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He sat up straight, and faced Rachel. His eyes clearly still puffy from sleep.

"Oh um, sure…I just, give me a minute to wake up…."

Rachel just continued to stare at him patiently, and also yawning.

"When did we fall asleep?"

Rachel shrugged simply and sighed "Not the point….we kind of left things open….don't you think?"

He stared, not really sure what she meant…but realizing she was kind of right, they did, but honestly he didn't want to get into it….mostly because he was scared she was going to say she regretted it, or something else….she wanted to move out. So he just decided to nod.

"Can I start…?" She asked looking at him, giving him a look that really didn't matter if he said no, she wasn't really asking more like stating. Again he just nodded, now sitting up completely, rubbing his eyes once more and still yawning. God how much did they oversleep? Or under sleep?

"Okay…well I guess I'll just get to the point, right? Um, what are we?"

He stared, blinking his eyes a few times, not really even sure how to answer that. He knew what he wanted to say…which of course was to say he wanted them to be boyfriend-girlfriend, but what if she didn't want that?

He felt a little nervous and that sweet little smile she was giving him made it even harder.

"Um…I guess, um…" He was really nervous and Rachel could hear it in his voice. She wasn't really sure why he was super nervous.

He rubbed his palms together, feeling how sweaty and clammy they had become. "um, well I think maybe we should start dating…"

Rachel continued staring at him, not really reading his expression very clearly. Did he mean that or was he just saying that because that was what she wanted? She couldn't really tell.

Finn noticed her expression and cleared his throat, god he was so horrible at this. Even in high school he wasn't sure how he managed to nab a girl like Rachel, and he would never understand how she still even liked him.

"No…I just mean, well not if you don't want to, we could just….we don't have to make it so serious…we could start off slow and easy, and work our way back….you know to what we had. But um, no dating anyone else…I don't necessarily have to have it be exclusive, per se…but I don't want guys and stuff coming around…"

Rachel felt her cheeks blush, and a smile form. She hadn't even thought about that, but the fact that he didn't want any guys at all coming around her, it was hard not to smile.

"Well um, words would be great right about now…" Finn said looking at her, and Rachel hadn't even realized she had been silent for quite a bit.

"Oh….no, I completely agree, that is a great idea."

Although Rachel, didn't really understand because it didn't clarify if they were officially dating or not.

He nodded, "Okay, so was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?"

She smiled and shook her head, even though Santana subject was creeping in the back of her mind, she decided to hold off on that topic. "Nope…" She said patting his leg and standing up, humming her way to the bathroom.

**TBC…**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Finn…." Santana said knocking loudly on his door. She knew that maybe this was a bad idea to just come over here without a warning, given the fact that him and the girl who dressed super weird were dating now, but she needed to talk to him.

Finn opened the door to stare wide-eyed at Santana's annoyed expression. He hadn't expected her, and was thankful that Rachel wasn't here right now.

"What are you doing here? Why didn't you call?" Finn asked pulling her inside rapidly so as not to be seen.

Santana rolled her eyes and stared at him a little shocked at how he was acting.

"Can't I come around you as my friend? What this Rachel chick will like kill you in your sleep or something if you are caught with me?"

Finn folded his arms and shook his head "You don't get it, I just told her a few hours ago that I didn't want guys hanging around here…and if she sees you here….she'll pretty much hate me for telling her something and then me doing the opposite."

Santana shook her head "Wow she has got you whipped, is she really worth all this trouble?" She said now folding her arms as well.

Finn groaned "Look I love you San, and I will always care about you as my friend, but right now maybe it's best if you stop coming around here for a while…just until I can regain Rachel's trust again…I hate doing that, I know it seems shitty of me, but honestly I really want this thing with her to work out…"

Santana stared at him and sighed "I guess I just hate seeing you not be yourself…this new version of you, well I miss the old one."

Finn scoffed loudly "What the one who had no money, barely any to pay rent, shallow, and sleeping with you just to have sex? Yeah I miss him too." Finn said rolling his eyes, making sure to make his tone as sarcastic as possible.

"you don't have to be such an ass about it all…can I at least get one more kiss? I mean a farewell kiss? I miss you and if I'm going to be living without some finny in my life, I will need one last kiss. Don't you think I deserve that at least?"

He groaned "No Santana…just, can you please leave?"

She shook her head and tapped her foot. "One kiss and I'll leave…"

He rolled his eyes and groaned "I won't do that to Rachel…."

"Fucking screw her, we have been friends way too long for you to just throw it away like that. Now one kiss and I swear I'll leave you alone for the time being."

He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair.

"One kiss and you will leave?"

She smiled giving him a sweet look, even though he knew that was pure evil.

He walked over and placed a small peck on her lips, before he could react she had her hands on the back of his neck, and pulling him down to deepen the kiss, his lips felt heavy with how hard she was kissing him.

"Finn…."

He felt his eyes go wide, and his cheeks flush, he hadn't even heard the door open.

Both of them turned to face a shocked and upset Rachel. She had books in her hands and they looked like they were ready to drop any minute.

"Rachel….um, whoa this isn't what you think…" He said reading her expression. "I mean it is, but it's not…I swear, I just…look." He knew everything was coming out really stupid, and the look she was giving him was hurting really badly.

He could see the tears on the brim of her eyes, she looked so hurt…god why did he have to do these things that made everything so bad.

Santana just stayed quiet and decided best to leave. "I'll leave you two alone…" she said giving Rachel an evil glare and walking out the door.

As the door closed it seemed to echo through the apartment from the silence.

"Rachel, I'm so sorry…look she came over very upset, and-…"

"So you decided the best way to cheer her up was your lips? Whoa…and I actually thought you changed….I'm so disgusted with you…."

He felt like someone punched him. "No….Rach, please look I just…she said it was our last kiss…."

"So you thought 'oh why not, why not screw Rachel and screw what we just talked about…' fucking talk about all this shit and then turn around and do something differently….I'm so done with you." She said not even giving him a chance to say anything else, and shutting her door so hard.

He walked up to her room, and placed his ear to the door, he wanted to knock…but he thought best to leave her alone, the painful sound of her crying made him sit on the ground, placing his palms in his eyes and feeling the tears fall.

**TBC…**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Finn hadn't seen Rachel come out of her room the whole night, he hadn't felt this bad since he got super sick on his 10th birthday party. But at least that one he felt better after his mom gave him what she called at the time 'tummy medicine', but this time…well this was a whole different story. He broke Rachel's heart for the 2nd time.

Nothing felt worse than hurting the one person you definitely shouldn't. Why did he have to be such an idiot when it came down to these things? Why did he have to listen to Santana? It was going to be really hard to not only forgive her but forgive himself.

He had tried knocking on her door a few times, but only got a few muffled 'go away!' through the door.

He closed his eyes as he lay in bed, running the scene over and over in his mind, with each passing thought making his stomach feel even more queasy than the last thought. Especially at the thought of Rachel's eyes when she saw him and Santana.

Would she ever forgive him?

0o0

It had been 3 days since she spoke to Finn, luckily every time she had to pee or go get food, he was either in his room or working at the bar. She didn't think she could face him, the feeling she got when she saw him made her feel this horrible pang.

And thankfully anytime she had to go to school or work, he was already long gone. He had tried to talk to her quite a few times, and even tried knocking that same night, but she just ignored him.

But why did she feel so horrible for ignoring him? He was the one who hurt her, and he was the one who made her feel this way…not the other way around.

She was so angry, yet she also just wanted to forgive him…but she didn't think he deserved that, so why should she allow her heart to give in?

On the 3rd day, she had gotten a call from Matt, apologizing for calling her and saying he needed a study buddy really badly. She would have declined in most cases, mostly because she didn't really like to study with anyone, let alone guys…but this time she definitely decided against doing what she thought she would.

"Oh like a date?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Oh um, well yeah that'd be awesome, but I thought you and that guy…"

Rachel scoffed cutting him off and sighed "That is long over….never even started…" though every bone in her body hurt by saying it.

Silence swept the conversation, but soon after Matt was talking about picking her up tonight.

Rachel wasn't spiteful, or at least she didn't think she was. But in all honesty, she kind of wanted to get back at Finn for what he did with her. She knew he would be furious especially after what they had talked about, but wouldn't he be a hypocrite if he got angry? When was the one sucking lips with Santana.

She heard the TV go on and she was only assuming it was the living room from how loud it was coming into her room. She sighed as she stared at her reflection back in the mirror. She was dressed in a small red mini skirt and a white top with a few buttons running down in the middle. She unbuttoned a few of the buttons on purpose.

Sighing once more, she stepped out of her room, smoothing out her long hair.

Even before she turned around, she could see Finn's eyes pouring all over her. She could even hear the oversized gulp that came from him.

"Wow...what um, where are you going?" Finn asked curious, yet not really wanting to know the answer. He hadn't seen her in a few days, and here she was looking so fucking sexy. She wore her hair sleeked down and straight with her bangs pushed to the side, and her legs were looking so silky.

Rachel turned to face a rosy cheeked Finn, still staring at her legs. She felt like blushing, but she didn't want to show him that he had that effect on her. Or the fact that she still just wanted to kiss him even after what he did.

"Is it really any of your business?" Rachel asked crossing her arms in a huffy manner.

He sighed, and looked down at his hands in a nervous fashion, tracing his thumb back and forth against the cool beer. He deserved how harsh she was being, but it still hurt.

"I just…I guess it's not, but can we please just talk though?"

Rachel scoffed loudly "Yeah right, like I said Finn, we are so over with…there is nothing that will change my mind. You cheated on me Finn, you obviously don't care about my feelings. Why should I give you the time of day to even speak with you?"

He closed his eyes, every word hitting him even harder than the last.

"That's not fair Rach…I get being angry, and doing all this that you are doing…but not even allowing to hear me out for 5 minutes. I promise no more than 5 minutes…just give me that…"

She stared at him, and saw the way he was almost pleading with her.

She opened her mouth but the knock on the door made her go quiet. She walked over and opened it, revealing a smiling Matt on the other side.

"Wow, you look so freaking good…I feel really dressed down."

Finn stood up almost running to her side, Rachel looked up to see Finn staring back at Matt.

"Oh um hi…" Matt said staring at Finn a little shocked.

"What are you doing here?" Finn asked rudely.

Matt raised an eyebrow and looked down at a very quiet Rachel.

Finn was fuming, his hands were clenched and his jaw was tightening. It was almost scary to stare at for too long. Especially given he was a giant.

"Uh, I'm here for Rachel, we are going out…"

Finn looked down wide-eyed at Rachel. "What? Are you serious Rach? This is how you want to get back at me? Dating this douche?"

"Whoa! Who the hell are you calling a douche man? She doesn't want to be with you…maybe you should let her make her own decisions…I think she has chosen."

Matt said, while both men stared down at a very uncomfortable Rachel.

Finn glared at him, Rachel stared at the wall, shocked at the interaction between both men. It was almost too intense and if looks could kill, well lets just say that Matt would definitely not be standing right now.

"Rach…seriously?"

Finn asked, and Rachel stared at his hurt expression. God why was she getting so upset? He was the one who hurt her.

"I have to go Finn…" Rachel said not even looking him in the eyes, knowing she would change her mind if she saw his eyes.

He stood there dumbstruck and not even knowing what to say or do, just knowing that the pain in his chest was definitely even worse than the one he felt before.

As she closed the door behind her, Matt started leading her to his car, everything was quiet but she felt shitty. She was supposed to feel great about hurting Finn….but she didn't.

**TBC….**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – Final Chapter**

They hadn't spoken when Rachel entered that night, and she went straight to her room, it seemed like the only time Finn saw her was when she would exit really quickly to eat breakfast or grab something and/or go to the bathroom. Finn wanted to speak to her so badly, but what the hell was he supposed to say to her?

She had made it pretty clear she didn't really want to hear what he had to say, but he didn't want to give up that easily either.

He wanted to know how it had gone with Matt that night, but did he really want to know the details?

He cleared his throat and knocked softly on the door, he needed to speak to her and even though she probably didn't care to hear what he had to say, well he was definitely going to just put it all on the table.

He waited before knocking the 2nd time. This time he heard a soft 'What?' come through the doors.

"Rach…can I please come in?" He definitely wasn't the type of guy to just bust through someone's door uninvited, let alone a girls room.

When he heard the softest 'Yeah…' come through, he opened it very softly. Peeking his head through, but not allowing his whole body in, just in case she changed her mind.

He saw her curled up on the bed, in a fetal position with her hands up to her chest and from the looks of it, she seemed to be crying.

"Are you crying?" Finn asked the stupid obvious question.

She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "No…I mean yes I was, but I just really don't want to talk about it…."

He stood there now with his whole body inside her room, standing in an awkward stance.

"May I?" He asked pointing to the bed, when he saw her head nod slightly he quietly made his way to the corner of the bed.

He hadn't noticed how dark it was, and how gloomy it seemed. This was so not Rachel's style, something was definitely not okay.

He wanted so badly to comfort her and pull her into his arms and just hold her. Was he the cause of this? That made his stomach do that little weird clench that it did when he felt like throwing up.

"Did I….was I the one who cause this crying?" He asked looking at her with shame in his eyes, seeing a girl cry was horrible…but seeing Rachel cry that was just torture.

She shook her head softly and wiped at her tears again.

He realized she had an oversized sweatshirt on, 2 sizes too big and pajama bottoms. Rachel never really wore stuff like this, it was weird to see her this dressed down.

"It's not you…I mean part of it is, but it's just all this emotional crap and stuff. I hate how angry I am with you, but at the same time all I want is for you to just hold me. Is that horrible of me?"

Finn stared at her a bit shocked but shook his head, but he realized she wasn't even looking at him.

"Oh um, of course not…Look Rach, before you say anything else, I want to apologize. I never ever meant for you to be hurt, I hate that I am the cause of any crying or even hurting you. I'm so sorry that I did it, and I want you to know that it will never ever happen again. I haven't even spoke to Santana since. Look I know it's hard to forgive me, but I just needed to be honest with you, it was THE biggest mistake of my life, besides letting you go the first time…."

He felt so horrible because it elicited more crying from her, which he didn't mean but then a small smile appeared on her lips.

"Thank you for apologizing….and I do forgive you…" She said looking down at the hands she had cupped on her legs.

"Have you ever done something and wished you could just take it all back? I mean, besides what you were just talking about?" She asked now staring at him, her eyes were all puffy from crying and her mascara had formed this weird clotting in the corner of her eyes…even then she still looked amazing.

He nodded and sighed "Yes, all the time…." He looked down a little shameful, because there had been so much…especially lately, honestly this whole year…that was exactly how he felt.

She sniffled once more which made his stomach clench more.

"Look, I know you said you didn't want to talk about it…but what happened? Was it something with Matt?"

She shifted her body at the name, and Finn stared at her a little shocked, god what had he done?

"What is it Rach?" He asked the desperation to find out what happened seeping in his tone.

She closed her eyes and when she opened her eyes she stared at his worried expression.

She sat up, combing her messy hair down and placing her arms in her laps, crossing her legs in indian style. "If I tell you, will you promise me you won't say anything to anyone? Or do anything about it?"

He looked at her even more worried but nodded.

She cleared her throat, thankful that her voice didn't crack or quiver.

"Matt and I, decided to go to this party that his friends were throwing…it was one of those college parties, I had been a little weary at first but I decided why not? I was so angry at you, and I thought it would be fun…"

Finn felt a little numb at where this was going.

"Well he had quite a bit of drinks in him already, and he thought it would be a good idea to go up to his friend Jacob's room. I stupidly said yes, and followed him up…"

"What did he do? Did he force you into anything Rach?" He asked, not really caring to interrupt her mid-sentence.

She shook her head, but looked down "No…well not exactly, he was just really aggressive and it scared me. When we started kissing and he started wanting to do more, I finally told him to stop, he pushed me really hard out of the bed, and I knocked into the dresser…."

"What?!" Finn asked looking at her with pure anger.

She shook her head once more "it's not like that Finn, he didn't mean to…he was drunk, and I told him no…and it could have gone a lot worse…but what upset me was just the fact that I went up there in the first place, I felt so stupid and used….like if I would have kept going he could've done something that…well wouldn't have ended up so good…I don't ever want to feel like a victim."

She couldn't help the sobs that escaped her, or the shivering that her body decided it needed to do. Matt thankfully knew when to stop, but it still upset her.

He scooted closer "I'm so sorry baby…you didn't deserve that, and he is a fucking jerk for doing that to you….but you were right, it could've gone a lot worse, I'm just thankful nothing happened. " He said placing his arms on her legs and running them back and forth gently soothing her.

After a few minutes of silence Rachel finally spoke up. "I'm sorry I did that to you Finn…I am so sorry that I left, I hated myself for doing that….but I was so mad at you for kissing her. Why did you do it?"

He sighed and looked down at his own lap. "I don't know honestly, I was so stupid…I guess I just thought it was harmless because it was like a goodbye, I didn't think about the whole thing or the fact that it would hurt you….I never meant to do that…."

She nodded and felt his soft hands wipe her tears "But I do know that I don't want us to be apart anymore, none of this not together crap, I don't want to fight or take it slow…I want us to be official…and I will understand if you don't want to…"

The kiss was so unexpected that he jumped as her lips crashed onto his. Letting his lips slowly take control.

She broke the kiss and stared at him. "That's all I needed to hear…."

"I love you.." Finn said running his hands through her hair and cupping her cheek.

She smiled "I love you too…"

**The End**


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